A man is facing criticism after refusing to lend his coworker a single dollar for a vending machine soda—despite having received free rides home from them for two years.
in a viral post on Reddit, the man’s colleague said that they had been driving him home every day, going five miles out of their way, without ever asking for compensation. However, when the original poster found themself short a dollar at a vending machine and asked their colleague to spot them just this once, the response was cold.
Newsweek spoke to etiquette expert Jo Hayes about reciprocity in relationships, and how the poster can address the issue. Since it was published, the post has received over 13,000 upvotes. Newsweek reached out to u/BeginningJoke3830 for comment via Reddit.
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In the post, the poster wrote that their colleague had never even offered to contribute toward gas. But when they asked him for one dollar for a soda, he said no.
“He straight up refused and said, ‘Just use your own money, man,'” the poster wrote. “I don’t really give money to friends or coworkers, sorry.”
The poster was shocked, given that they estimate they have spent over $1,500 in gas over the years. Frustrated, they decided that they would no longer offer free rides, leaving their coworker upset and calling him petty.
Reddit users, however, were overwhelmingly on the side of the poster.
“You asked him for a small favor and he refused and shamed you,” one person wrote. “You have no obligation to keep offering him a ride. Though, you should know that this will drastically deteriorate your relationship and they will make a big deal of it.”
Another comment pointed out the hypocrisy in the situation: “Petty is accepting free rides for two years and not only not offering to pay, but not spotting for a vending machine snack. So, you don’t get rides from me and I won’t ask you for another can of soda. Done!”
An Expert Weighs In
Newsweek spoke to Hayes about the situation, who strongly condemned the coworker’s behavior.
“I am appalled at the selfishness of the poster’s coworker in this scenario. Without even bringing the free rides he’s received for two years into this scenario, refusing to spot a coworker a dollar, on a one-off occasion. Where is his human decency?” Hayes said.
She added that the coworker had blatantly violated the “golden rule” of good manners: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” Hayes said. “That means demonstrating kindness, charity and respect for others.”
While she did not endorse the poster’s retaliatory action, Hayes did support setting “healthy” boundaries. She encouraged the poster to explain to his coworker why he stopped the free rides.
“The poster should explain to their coworker exactly what they have explained to us in this post—that they have given him free rides for two years, going five miles out of his way, spending $1,500 on gas, while his colleague has not given or offered him a cent, and then refuses to spot them a dollar …
“They should explain to him that it’s selfish and shows a great deal of ingratitude for the charity that has been shown him,” Hayes said. “As a consequence, the free rides are over.”
